Hello everybody! We are two roommates who are new to Scorum trying to earn some money for betting on fights. For each event, we're going to be coming up with themed parlays with really high odds. We've dubbed this type of parlay the "Stinky Parlay". Tail us with caution and be aware that these are mostly just for fun, but we'll be playing them anyway. Cheers!
Fandando's Stinky Parlays:
The Mustached Menaces
Marlon Vera ML (-550)
Ricardo Ramos ML (-210)
Cub Swanson ML (+315)
$10 to win $62.40
Those in attendance in Ricardo Ramos's last fight could've sworn they saw his magnificent mustache twitch just before delivering the spinning elbow that saw him secure his victory. Coincidence? I think not. Marlon Vera has been bringing it in his last couple fights, and I'm not talking about his striking volume. That magnificent 'stache alone should sway the judges into his favor, and also will increase his testosterone by 5% going into the fight (don't check it, just trust me). I'm not sure if you've seen Cub Swanson this week, but damn does his upper lip look good. This is a mustache level that I'm not sure if the UFC is ready for, hell all I know is that it's everything I've ever wanted. Look for his 'stache to take inspiration from the fabulous fuzz from Ramos and Vera and propel him to a hairy victory over a clean-shaven opponent.
The Tuesday Night Warriors
Alex Perez ML (-135)
Matt Sayles ML (-104)
Ricky Simon ML (-122)
Kevin Holland ML (+295)
$10 to win $235.43
If only this card were taking place on a Tuesday. These boys all made their case for UFC stardom on everyone's favorite show-turned-acronym, the Dana White Tuesday Night Contender Series (DWTNCS). If there's anything to be learned from watching that show, it's that these boys bring it every time out there, and in doing so will bring you the bacon straight to your greasy bank account.
Brazilian Beatdown
Sheymon Moraes ML (-116)
Ricardo Ramos ML (-210)
Pedro Munhoz ML (-240)
Thiago Santos ML (-360)
Polyana Viana ML (-220)
Renato Moicano ML (-380)
$10 to win $81.42
If there's anything that UFC betting has taught me, it's that you never bet on the old Brazilians. However, the oldest Brazilian on this card is just the tender age of 34, and he brutally knocked out his last opponent. With that in mind, there's no danger here. The power of Brazil will flow through this card like the mighty Amazon River.
DrScoobertDoo's Stinky Parlays:
California Love
Danielle Taylor ML (+220)
Cub Swanson ML (+290)
TJ Dillashaw ML (-119)
$10 to win $219.67
Danielle Taylor, Cub Swanson, and TJ Dillashaw are all from California meaning that this is a home game for these golden state warriors. The sunny rays, forest fires, and the never ending woo's from the drunk and stoned audience will inspire Danielle, Cub, and TJ to put on a show. If this parlay lands, every wildfire in California will go out overnight, probably. It won't save their dried up lakes though.
Don't Call It A Comeback
Sheymon Moraes ML (-112)
Thiago Santos ML (-341)
Cub Swanson ML (+290)
$10 to win $85.47
These men have all lost their most recent fights and are itching to get back in the Octagon. Sheymon Moraes is a spooky submission hunter on the ground, where his opponent Matt Sayles will want to take the fight. Thiago Santos is a power kickboxer with some violent finishes. Santos will feast on his opponent, Kevin Holland, somebody who recently won by decision on the Contender Series. Cub Swanson is just the fucking man and he's going to make it rain on Moicano. Moicano is lucky to be in there with Cub because at least he'll get a $50,000 consolation FOTN bonus after Cub zoops on him with style.
My Lil' Finishers
Alex Perez vs. Jose Torres: Under 2.5 Rounds (+175)
Pedro Munhoz vs Brett Johns: Under 2.5 Rounds (+130)
Demetrious Johnson vs Henry Cejudo: Under 4.5 Rounds (-153)
TJ Dillashaw vs Cody Garbrandt: Under 2.5 Rounds (+110)
$5 to win $104.82
The Kings of the small boys, TJ and DJ, are going to win in spectacular fashion to appease Papa Dana so they get paid what they are worth and a DJ vs TJ superfight happens. Alex Perez, Jose Torres, Pedro Munhoz, and Brett Johns will make a great case for promoting the small boys to Papa Dana by putting on some bangers.
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