Hello everybody! We are two roommates who are new to Scorum trying to earn some money for betting on fights. We have always loved to make parlays that seem plausible but have incredibly high odds. We have dubbed this type of parlay the "Stinky Parlay". Tail us with caution and be aware that these are mostly just for fun, but we'll be playing them anyway. Cheers!
Fandando's Stinky Parlays:
The 15-Minute Mile
Kajan Johnson ML (+445)
Katlyn Chookagian ML (-138)
Devin Powell ML (-112)
$5 to win $87.50
If these fighters had their way, they'd provide you with solid lullabies to lull you to sleep as you watch through the card today. All these fighters are more than content to circle around the cage and throw foot kicks at there opponents for 15 minutes until their opponent falls asleep from sheer boredom or just gets so frustrated they start crying. Chookagian kind of ruins this illusion with her constant "Hut hut hut!" which may make you feel like you're watching Maria Sharapova play tennis, but one glance at her strikes not even reaching her opponent will likely be all you need to catch back up on that beauty sleep. At the very least, you can watch them get their cardio in.
The Canadian Mafia
Olivier Aubin-Mercier ML (-123)
Jordan Mein ML (-130)
Hakeem Dawodu ML (-375)
John Makdessi ML (-205)
$10 to win $60
Now that OAM has rebranded himself as the Candian Gangster, it's only fitting that he would've hired some henchmen to carry out his hits within the UFC. Word has it that he singlehandedly called Jordan Mein back out of retirement to do his dirty work for him. Makdessi has always been a solid hitman on Canadian soil, so gathering his services is a large boon for this parlay. Watch for Hakeem Dawodu to come out firing to prove his worth to his overlord.
The Banshee's Cry
Eddie Alvarez ML (+145) - Everything you've got to win Everything you've ever wanted
It's not quite a parlay, sure, but call it a guaranteed lock tonight. It's no secret that all of Eddie Alvarez's power comes from his wife's shrieking during his fights. The combination of getting punched in the face and "EDDDDIIIIEEEEEEE" give Alvarez the power to defeat anyone in the division, and in the first Poirier fight, his wife was in fine form. Look for Eddie to get rocked by a straight left and use the sheer amount of decibels coming through his wife's vocal chords to completely turn the fight around in his favor.
DrScoobertDoo's Stinky Parlays:
Don't Bring the Dogs Out
Eddie Alvarez ML (+145)
Jose Aldo ML (-105)
Tecia Torres ML (+230)
Alexander Hernandez ML (-100)
$5 to win $153
Don't bring the dog out of Eddie and don't sleep on these underdogs. Jose Aldo is a technician in the octagon and can easily make Jeremy Stephens look like a complete goober with his footwork and boxing. Tecia Torres is a bad style match up for Joanna with her movement and wrestling skills. Joanna's delusional antics outside of the Octagon lead me to believe that the pressure is all on her for this fight. Alexander Hernandez is going to run over OAM and turn him into a fine, Canadian paste.
Lords of the Arm Punch
Alvaro Herrera ML (-110)
Ion Cutelaba ML (-130)
Ross Pearson ML (+190)
$10 to win $88
These boys like to swang them hands, ogre-man style. Herrera has a special talent of winging bombs until he gets a finish or gets finished. Ion Cutelaba, the absolute madman, decided a long time ago that he will strike fear into the hearts of his opponents solely with the air from his missing hulk hands. He has a knack for throwing heaters from the hip, something old man Antigulov won't be able to handle after the sub-concussive forces sustained to his ears from Ion's punches whizzing by. Ross Pearson is a veteran with a penchant for boxing and losing five fights in a row. Ross will channel the rage from his skid and turn Makdessi into a man without a chin.
Chin Checkers Unite
Dustin Ortiz vs. Matheus Nicolau: Under 2.5 (+270)
John Makdessi vs. Ross Pearson: Under 2.5 (+230)
Olivier Aubin Mercier vs. Alexander Hernandez: Under 2.5 (-100)
$5 to win $117
Ortiz is not known for being chinny, in fact, his ability to get the shit beaten out of him without being finished is one of his greatest attributes. Despite his toughness, Nicolau boxing Ortiz up on the feet and locking in a submission when Ortiz shoots in is a real possibility. John Makdessi and Ross Pearson are both out of their primes and both have had their chins turned into dust in the past. Makdessi is more likely to land a knock-out shot out of nowhere with his Taekwondo background but if Ross can pour on the pressure, Makdessi will be made messy. OAM and Hernandez have gotten early finishes in their last fights against solid opposition. If Hernandez comes out on fire early again, it's going to be a short night for the Canadian Gangster.
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