Since Betman started writing about chess, his fans’ letters began to pile up. Everybody wants more… except a few chess haters. Alright, those are actually emails and telegram messages, because who writes snail mail today?

Nobody, really. Betman has a friend who works as a postman, and he increasingly complains about how difficult it is for him to carry an empty bag. But Betman will describe this in detail when we have odds for a Postman Olympics at BetScorum besides that atrocious football where we even don’t know who plays against whom…

Enough about that, let’s return to a typical desperate fan letter, who is motivated to improve his chess:

“Dear Betman, I have a complain. My ELO rating is still very low (varies between 900 and 1100 on Tuesdays) and those cuties you show are all in the range from FM to GM. I’m afraid I will never be able to play a tournament with them. At least not until my retirement, and then I will probably be interested only in chess and nothing else. Can you help me improve my game?

Sincerely yours,

Messgen Errorovich Blunderovskiy

Of course not, Messgen, Betman never chooses hard way when he can go park to enjoy. You don’t have to go to the tournaments. Instead of sweating and learning complicated variants, Betman suggests a much simpler method: Go chess hustling in the park and wait for a pleasant surprise! For example, if you live in New York City, you can try your luck in the Union Square Park:

Since your name has a Russian undertone, you may be living in Russia. In that case, that is even better: you can try Gorky Park, Moscow, where you can find some really young and beautiful ladies:

You see? There is only one problem left:

Can you cope with a defeat?