Yes, people, he is dead. Cristiano Ronaldo has tested positive for the most deadly coronavirus in history of mankind, the Portuguese Football Federation has announced. Condolences to the fans and family.

The Juventus star (35), who catch the deadly cold on national team duty with Portugal, played his last full 90 minutes in the UEFA Nations League game against France in Paris on Sunday. Betman will inform you on the date of funeral… In the meantime, he will continue to play with a Zombie license after the period of self-isolation.

And there you go. Yesterday Alcantara, today The Great Late Him. Well, that’s life. It’s tragic, and always ends in death. Still, it could be even horse… worse. How worse?

He could end up (or down?) in Arse-nal!