I was still recovering from the shock of Chelsea’s horrific performance against Leicester city when I heard that Real Madrid lost to a third division team. My heart leaped for joy. There is this pleasure you derive when your best friend performs worse than you even though both of you failed. I was at my low mood in search of anything to make me feel better. The Spanish giant came to my aid. Their disappointing defeat made it easier to cope with my loss. I am not the only one who feels better after learning of the failure of another. But before I am done gloating, permit me to diagnose the ailments and give possible remedy.

Athlete who wish to leave a club ought to receive the blessings of their parent club in other to flourish in their new club. Failure to do so could amount to misfortune to the player and destination club. Eden Hazard and Courtois refusal to extend their contract did not go down with the management. The Management reluctantly sanctioned their deal. The duo is responsible for the misfortune the club is experiencing.

Before you call me superstitious, your club started it, so I decided to take it a step further. Real Madrid FC were accused of being fetish. The Spanish giant had gone five years without winning a trophy after relocating to their new stadium in the early twentieth century. To break the yoke, they took the unusual step of burying cloves of garlic in the center of the field. They went on to win the a trophy that season. Pablo Hernandez, the goalkeeper of the team confirmed this allegation.

The European champions are yet to win a competition in since last season and are heading the same route this season. Rather than wait till five years, they can repeat the same ritual today. The club should bury twenty tonnes of garlic in the middle of the stadium to ward against the evil spirit. Give each player ginger drink five hours before every match to attract good luck. The players don’t need to know, tell them it is to boost their immune system from Covid-19. Secretly hide garlic inside Hazard and Courtoises pillow so the evil spirit that followed them from Chelsea will not disturb them during their dreams. Place garlic at the entrance of the locker room to prevent them from seeing a ghost during matches. A few strands of referee hair, a little piece of referee uniform, alcohol and garlic can be used to make a charm to prevent referees from making a harsh decision against the team. Wash the VAR screen and other equipment with garlic juice, so It could rule out all opposition goals for a nonexistent offside

Meanwhile I hope the bad luck gets transferred to their neighbor athletic Madrid after the club signed Chelsea target Dembélé from Olympic Lyon. To think that they plan to unleash the French international against my club in the next round of the UEFA champion league.

Garlic Buried on the pitch