This is part of this week's Freaky Friday contest by @pete. This story, while inspired by kung fu films, is fictional.
It was quite a bright and bustling day in Chinatown in San Francisco, California. A man and a woman go to a Chinese restaurant for dinner. As they sat down, a waiter takes their order; they order some egg foo young, lobster Cantonese, pineapple chicken, and some fried wonton (to those of you reading, can you guess what 70s sitcom this order is a reference to an episode from. I'll give you one hint: Junk dealers). As the waiter heads to the kitchen to relay the order to the chefs, the couple start to have a nice little chat which actually goes on for awhile even as they started eating minutes later. They talk about plans for marrying, where they are going for their honeymoon, etc. The two were really infatuated with each other it seems. The two were going to get married in a few weeks time and they were going to settle down somewhere in the countryside. The man was going to open a curio shop while the woman was going to help him run it. It all seemed so perfect, until....
Three men came barging into the restaurant unannounced. They see the couple, and one of them violently grabs the man. They demand that he tell them where some precious jewelry is being taken. The man insists he doesn't know, only to be met with slaps and arm twisting by the three thugs. The woman constantly tells the three to leave him alone, but one of the thugs pushes her to the floor. One of the chefs comes out and tries to get the three thugs off the man with no success. Then another one comes out, with fists and feet ready to fight....
It was the waiter! One of the thugs tells him to stay out of this, but the waiter is not flinched by veiled threats. As the first thug lunges at him with a pocket knife in his hand, the waiter quickly grabs the thug's hands and then kicks him in both knee caps. As the first thug writhes in pain from cracked knee caps, the waiter then twists the thug's first hand to disarm him. He then punches the thug in the stomach a few times and then kicks him in the chin, knocking the thug across the room into a wall. The first thug is knocked out and stunned, moaning in pain as he wakes up and unable to get back up because of his knee caps being cracked.
The second thug then comes at the waiter, only to be met with a hard kick to the face. After staggering for a few seconds, the second thug comes to his senses and picks up the first thug's pocket knife. He then proceeds to throw it at the waiter, who immediately dodges it. The knife ends up hitting one of the hanging lanterns that is part of the restaurant's decorum. The thug then proceeds to throw plates, then a teapot, and then a chair; all of which the waiter avoids with lightning reflexes (even though that meant damage to the restaurant). He then tries to land a few punches at the waiter, all of which miss except one (the waiter grabs the thug's fist and throws him across the room along with the broken furniture. Thug 2 then staggers for a moment and gets back up to try again. He tries to again lunge at the waiter, only get kicked in the gut and in the face. Thug 2 is now also beaten and cannot get back up.
Now it was Thug 3's turn. He decides to try to fight the waiter in the style of fisticuffs. However, this guy would do well to remember ordinary fisticuffs is no match for Chinese kung fu. The waiter anticipates the thug's fist, causing it to end up landing at a window and shattering it (and also cutting the thug's hand in the process). Angry that his hand is cut, Thug 3 then tries to use his other hand to land a few punches, but misses again. In return, the waiter roundhouse kicks him in the face. Still standing, and after staggering for a few seconds, he tries to again punch the waiter. However, he ends up getting countered, punched in the stomach, his arm pulled almost out of socket, and then kicked into where the first thug was still reeling from the beatdown.
The waiter then stands with the kung fu equivalent of a poker face, and non-verbally warns the three thugs that they would not expect mercy if they did not leave. Feeling that they had enough, the three thugs stagger and leave the restaurant, only to be stopped by police seconds later (the waiter told one of the chefs to call the cops beforehand). It turns out these three thugs were part of a crime syndicate that had been looking for rare jewelry that was being transported from another country. The man they harassed was hired by the FBI to try to keep the jewels a secret; the three thugs had earlier roughen up somebody to get them to squeal on where the jewels were. The man attempted to thank the waiter, but could not find him. He asked one of the other waiters who that was, to which they replied....
Hou Wei (後衛)- Defender
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