Martial Arts / funny
A Practical Use of Sports
Oh, how Betman is sick of sports critics! There are bloody bunch philosophers who are insisting that sports are not productive, and really doesn’t have any use except as a distraction to the population, so it would not think about their miserable lives and possible execution of plutocracy like in 1789 France… And they won’t let it go! They are singing the same song since the workers have fought out eight-hour worktime! Precisely that is why Betman went off in a long-term search of meaning and practical use of sports. And just after some 50+ years, Betman has found out! Finally, here it is ONE practical use of sports! Now, imagine you are in a jungle, and your survival depends on coconuts only. You don’t have an axe, you broke machete hitting the TV set, monkey stole your knife, Trump still didn’t deliver bombs, and your wife seized nail file and tweezers… you’ve got nothing. Except the Kung Fu master Li Weimin’s technique… You see how easy it is? You just have to know! Yes, that’s that practical side of sport. Now go and practice breaking the coconut by training football of volleyball with it!
Betman’s Martial Arts Compendium: Cockney Kung Fu
Today, Betman is going to introduce to you the most deadly martial art you’ve ever heard. Please, use this knowledge moderately and wisely. Legends says that Kung Fu originated in the Shaolin temple in Henan province, China, under the name of Wushu. During its 1500-year history, it variated in innumerable styles. Even Hollywood actors made their own styles! One of the World wide renowed Hollywood actors who create his own style, best known for his fight (and win over) with Chuck Norris, absolutely unforgettable legend was… errr… what was his name… I had it on the tip of my tongue… OK, I forgot his name, but it doesn’t matter, the point is that anyone could make his own style. So, Kung Fu was more decentralized than bitcoin in the last 1500 years, and you will easily recognize true Kung Fu masters by the badge with an old Chinese inscription that says: “I was blockchain before you!” We have come a long way of development to the most deadly variation ever — Cockney Kung Fu! So deadly that it can crack open your brain just by trying to translate it, and you are not a subject of British Monarchy! Before you see this video, you have to read this WARNING: Inattentive use of Cockney Kung Fu may cause permanent damage to the foreigners! Now burn that fragrant stick and remember: The path of a devoted student is paved with hints towards more cockney arts that can lead you where no man (or cockney) has gone before…
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