MLB / funny

Can't Beat Crypto at the Old Ballpark
This week, MLB's Tampa Bay Rays (not the Devil anymore) announced that Tropicana Field, their home ballpark, will become the first totally cashless sports facility in America. The MLB has already jumped into crypto. At first I thought, "Of course they are 'cashless'... because they are also 'fan-less' ". After all, a few weeks ago, the Rays announced that they were removing approximately 6,000 seats. This leaves the 14,000 masochistic fans who regularly attend Rays games with only 25,000 seats to choose from. Apparently the other 11,000 seats will be reserved for the detectable challenged (commonly known as "invisible people"). Tropicana Field is wildly popular with invisible people. However, upon further examination, this move to going cashless has nothing to do with the empty stadium. According to reports, the Rays studied patterns in their stadium (they clearly had nothing else to do) and determined that only accepting electronic payments would cut wait time in lines in half. The vendors at Rays game will accept credit cards, Rays gift cards, Apple Pay and Samsung Pay (and pity... they will accept all of your pity). If a "fan" only has access to cash, they can exchange the cash for gift cards from the gift shops or the roaming vendors in the stadium. At this point it is important to note that the Rays really care about their vendors. Unlike ballparks that require their vendors to roam through crowds of people, the Rays vendors will be the first "free range vendors" in sports. Without any fans in the way, they will have plenty of room to roam. Some have argued that the Rays are insane to make it more difficult for the few fans they actually attract to pay for products at the park. Others are saying that the Rays are just ahead of their time and soon real Major League teams will follow suit. The idea of cutting wait times is very attractive... but then again so is the idea of a team's ownership putting a competitive team on the field. I’m not sure how you can cut the wait time from zero seconds… but if anything can… crypto can! And this is where my snarky sarcasm stops. If this were an actual Major League team doing this, it would make quite a splash. But you have to start somewhere. It might as well be with the lowly Rays (although my White Sox might also be a perfect test case). A cashless stadium seems perfectly suited for payment via crypto currency. We all know that Bitcoin transaction take far too long and have never sped up anything, but there are other lighting fast options out there. Some are even faster than credit cards. In addition, not every fan has a credit card. Not only are the fees too high for some people, others are simply not old enough to qualify for a credit card. I would imagine teams would want to attract teenagers to their games, not drive them away. If a stadium accepted crypto, a person could pay right from their phone. Instead of a parent having to send their kid to the stadium with their credit card and a fake mustache, they could simply deposit some crypto right in their teen's crypto wallet. Better yet, the teen could earn their own crypto by blogging or developing apps. Could you imagine earning crypto coins for blogging about your team and then using those coins to pay for some peanuts and cracker jack at the old ball park? I know I can...