Hello everybody! We are two roommates who have come to Scorum to give you some stinky picks. For each event, we're going to be coming up with themed parlays with really high odds. We've dubbed this type of parlay the "Stinky Parlay". Tail us with caution and be aware that these are mostly just for fun, but we'll be playing them anyway. Cheers!
Fandando's Stinky Parlays
It's good to be back and ready to take on another 0-3 week as the UFC heads to the Sunshine State. Keeping with that theme, it's time to craft some hot, stinky parlays for a hot and stinky state. Here we go.
No Chin, No Problem
Andrei Arlovski ML (+125)
Ben Saunders ML (+175)
Glover Teixeira ML (-120)
Alex Oliveira ML (-170)
$5 to win $85.08
If ever there was a bet that was doomed to fail, it would be this one. You're looking at the four chinniest dudes on this card, all facing guys with legitimate power in their hands. However, that's why this series is called stinky parlays, not smart parlays. Despite their great ability to be left face down on the canvas, I like all of these guys to take whatever shit Arlovski's on that reconstructed his chin and win the smart fight for some stinky cash.
No Nose Knows
Andrei Arlovski ML (+125)
Virna Jandiroba ML (-125)
Dhiego Lima ML (+160)
Dmitry Smolyakov ML (+285)
$5 to win $197.70
On this card we've got the most legendary nose in all of the business, one that's that the misfortune of being smashed by some of the sports greatest legends. That nose, of course, is Andrei Arlovski's, now shaped like an S and one of the most grotesque things in all of MMA. Joining his nose are the lovely beaks of Virna Jandiroba and Dmitry Smolyakov (though that beak is likely to be broken soon), and the Squidward nose of Dhiego Lima. Look for these fighters to follow their nose (yes, I hate myself too) for the finish and really put the STINK in the stinkiest parlay of all.
Sprint, Don't Run
Greg Hardy ML (-345)
Roosevelt Roberts ML (-450)
Ion Cutelaba ML (+100)
Jason Gonzalez ML (+125)
John Lineker ML (-145)
Mike Perry ML (+150)
$5 to win $144.83
All of these boys want one thing: to end the fight as soon as possible. The ways in which they go about achieving that all vary, with Hardy and Cutelaba's haymakers, to Gonzalez's wild hooks, and Perry and Lineker's pressure. Roosevelt Roberts is just a beast that finds ways to win early through skill alone. Regardless, we're looking to go with the guys going out there to finish the fight, not just win it. May the stench be with them
DrScoobertDoo's Stinky Parlays
What's up everybody, we have a card this weekend that has a potential for extreme violence. I'm from Florida and to miss seeing this card live breaks my heart (it hurts less after Yoel pulled out). I carry on despite my weeping heart and have handcrafted some nice stinkies to fill the void. Time to win some bitcoin boys.
They Shall Not Pass
Ronaldo Souza ML (-220)
Glover Teixiera ML (-125)
John Lineker ML (-145)
Andrei Arlovski ML (+125)
Court McGee ML (-175)
$5 to win $73.21
The gates must be held at any cost. None of these UFC veterans can allow their opponents to progress past them in the rankings. Souza defends the contender gate at 185, Teixiera and Lineker defend the top 10 of 205 and 135, and Arlovski and McGee must hold their positions at the fringe top 15 at heavyweight and welterweight. The gates will be held and a stinktastic parlay will be secured.
Extra dank addition: If you want an advanced stinky parlay, you can tack on a Angela Hill ITD prop at +475. $5 to win $444.69
The Rag and Bone Boys
Ben Saunders ML (+175)
Andrei Arlovski ML (+125)
Jim Miller ML (-145)
Court McGee ML (-175)
$5 to win $77.14
Say hello to some of the most homeless looking fighters in the lightweight, welterweight, and heavyweight divisions. There isn't much left for these old dogs but luckily the matchmakers gave them all scrubs they could whoop on. Each of these fighters have clear paths to victory and with a win they prolong their careers until the next time they get ruthlessly finished. Fuck off father time, don't kill my stinky parlay.
Florida Man Found Swangin' and Bangin'
Ronaldo Souza ML (-220)
Mike Perry ML (+150)
John Lineker ML (-145)
Ben Saunders ML (+175)
Gilbert Burns ML (-270)
$5 to win $110.17
The Florida blood coursing through my veins compels me to ride with my homestate compatriots. Each of these fighters live and train in Florida and coincidentally they all throw bombs and emanate pure violence. Expect some nasty wins for the Florida boys and add another successful stinker to the list.
Extra dank additions: If you're looking for a powerful stinker, switch out these moneylines for Inside The Distance props. $2.50 to win $281.74
Stinky parlay pieces: Lineker ITD (+212), Hill ITD (+474), Arlovski ITD (+505), Hardy Round 1 (-110), Miller vs Gonzalez Does Not Go The Distance (-215), Burns vs Davis Does Not Go The Distance (-250)
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