Who loves you baby? Tell me, who do you love?

My picker outer is broken, and basically has been my entire life. I am truly a Sad Sack fan who doesn’t have the good sense to quit. This is my story. You think you can top it? Just start something in the comments. I can sing a saaaadd song.

The title comes from the name Phoenix, the story of rising from the ashes. It’s a long ways from the truth.

You think you have it bad? You think your team sucks? You have no idea.

I grew up in Washington State, lived there until I was 50 years old. I was a Pilots fan, then a Mariners and Sehawks fan.

When I moved to Arizona I decided I needed a local team to support. I chose the Cardinals. Are you noticing a trend here? It gets worse. I went to my first WSU Cougar football game in 1958 and have been a fan ever since.

I had a hard time deciding whether to pick on the Cardinals first or the Mariners. Cardinals are the worst team in the NFL right now so they win. The Mariners are just not good enough this year so they come second.

ARIZONA CARDINALS

The Cards are currently the worst team in the NFL. They scored their first extra point in their third game. Shut out in the first game, one score in the second and they tried for two. It was until this week’s ass whipping at the hands of the Bears that they scored and kicked the point. Just to prove they could, they did it again and led 14-0. First quarter. Then put on an exhibition of offensive ineptitude that was well, offensive.

Most of the time Sam Bradford couldn’t hit his ass with either hand if he was in a broom closet. He hit two wide open breakdown passes in the first quarter and was done. I mean he couldn’t even hand off to the best running back in football.

The Card’s defense is good, if not great. The offense could not give them a rest, and late in the game they were just plain exhausted. So the inevitable happened. 4th quarter score for the Bears win.

The really ugly part is the crowd. The Red Sea is a good home crowd, but they haven’t been much able to get into a game. So many Phoenicians are transplants that on Sunday the Bears fans could be plainly heard late in the game.

It’s a sad day when Larry Fitzgerald gets two (yes 2) targets in the entire game, catches both and ends up with 11 yards. Bradford might be the only guy that has ever been able to contain Fitz. No defense ever has.

Offensive Coordinator Two entirely separate words

While we are on the subject of personnel let’s talk coaching. Cardinals have a new coach. Actually, the Cardinals have all new coaches. Steve Wilks might be OK, but his head assistants? Mike McCoy, the Offensive Coordinator (Heavy emphasis on offensive and not much on coordinator) has a personal 12 game losing streak going. His last gig was Denver last year when he was fired for incompetence after a 9 game losing streak that put the Denver offense at the bottom of the NFL. Remember that list includes Buffalo and Cleveland. At least he is consistent.

Sigh. Deep sigh. The proud Cardinals franchise is an original NFL team from the 1920s. They have been owned by the Bidwell family for very nearly 100 years. They have exactly one league championship. It was a WWII gift given to the Cards by the NFL. They had to take two victories away from a team to let the Cards record (there was no championship game) take the trophy.

They are the current holders of the ‘longest championship drought’ title in all of sports. It only dates to 1945, but in reality it should be ever. Never is a really long time.

So. My NFL team is a catastrophe now and forever. Up next is my MLB choice, the Seattle Mariners. Never is a really long time in Seattle, too. I promise to keep you all up to date on the Cardinals futility through this season. It’s better than watching the games.

NFL / sadteam

Sad Sack Rising Arizona Cardinals

Sad Sack Rising Arizona Cardinals

Sad Sack Rising Arizona Cardinals