“Poker is a fascinating, wonderful, intricate adventure on the high seas of human nature.” -- David A. Daniel

Growing up in a Christian home, activities like drinking, having sex before marriage, and gambling were all forbidden. There were never any discussions on these topics, other than the birds and the bees sex talk, because my brother and I firmly knew where our parents and other extended family stood and what they expected of us.

I believe that who we are leads us towards certain activities for better or worse. As a kid, I quickly developed an interest in card and board games, and although the games didn't mean much more than serving as a form of entertainment, I wanted to win. I still have guilt over cheating against my then 80-year-old Aunt Wilma in Kings in the Corner (a card game). As she went to the restroom I exchanged my cards for others in the deck that would setup my hand better to steal a rare victory from her.

While that was the last time I can remember cheating at a card game, those early experiences led to curiosity in other games. I remember watching the entire television coverage of the 2003 World Series of Poker Main Event as Chris Moneymaker went from an amateur poker player to a millionaire. I didn't want to be him; I wanted to beat him.

From watching on television I understood the basics of the game, and my naivety led me to believe that my 18-year-old brain and limited experience were enough to win the hard-earned money of others.

I had to find a discreet way to play where I would be the only one who knew what I was doing. After viewing a commercial for an online poker website called Party Poker, I signed up. Within a few minutes I was playing with real money online. My very first night playing poker I lost everything I had in my bank account, which was around $250. I cried.

The worst part about this situation, while other people would be worried about the money they had lost, and don't get me wrong, I was, but the worst feeling for me was not being able to explain what was wrong to my mother. I don't remember the excuse I gave her or how I tried to cover up how I was feeling that night, but I remember feeling embarrassed and ashamed.

But this was a beginning and not an ending. I was drawn into this new game and the combination of skill, strategy, and luck had piqued my interest. I wanted to play and I wanted to win, but I still felt like I was cheating on life -- like I had a new secret mistress that everyone in my life would disown and abandon me because of regardless of how it made me feel.

I continued to play and found small groups of people who I worked with who also enjoyed playing. I started to read books about poker to understand the different strategies and how to calculate pot odds. As someone who had always hated math and statistics, I began to love them and apply lessons learned at the poker table to other areas of my life. Just as you wouldn't put all of your chips into a pot that you weren't likely to win, I began making smarter decisions based on the odds of getting the outcome I wanted.

While attending Bradley University in Peoria, Illinois, I paid several student tuition payments and paid off several credit cards with the money I earned playing Texas Hold'em at a local casino (called the Paradice Casino).

Fifteen years after playing my first hand of poker, I am still as interested and excited by the many different games of poker as I ever have been. I'm no longer ashamed of playing the card game I love but as with any activity I do have to be careful of the impact it has on the more important things in life like being a husband and a father.

I had tried to give up on poker because I didn't have the time or money to keep it in my life, but it kept popping back up. I'd receive a phone call in the middle of the night or a text message from my mistress asking if I was "DTF." Occasionally I would give in and play on a website here or there or try to find my way to a casino to play live.

Poker was still connected with sin in my mind and I just couldn't shake it, and maybe I never will completely, but earlier this year I finally found a community of poker players who love the game just as much as I do -- the Steem Poker League (Lucksacks.com). WIth a stable of solid players and freeroll tournaments where I couldn't lose everything in my bank account just for playing, I was able to play competitively while making new friends.

A couple of months ago, my parents were visiting were visitng from Michigan. As usual, I was putting in some work on the weekend and multitasking. As my dad leaned over and looked at my computer screen, he asked, "What's that Mike, what are you doing?" I proudly said, "I'm working...and I'm playing poker." A small smile came to his face and that was the end of the conversation. This may have been the first time I've been able to show my mistress off to my family, but it won't be the last, and I have no intentions of abandoning poker although there are more important things I need to concentrate on in order to build the life I want for my family.

This post is an entry into @liuke96player's contest where participants write an article on any topic within poker.

I hope you enjoyed my story and feelings about the game(s) of poker. Please leave any comments or questions below, and thank you so much for reading.

Poker / blogging

Poker, My Forbidden Mistress

Poker, My Forbidden Mistress

Poker, My Forbidden Mistress