Shizuoka Marathon Blog, XI - New Kicks, Cold Weather, and Real Trips

Where to start? Well, I did not expect to have these shoes in my hands (and on my feet) so soon, but after a slightly frustrating experience searching high and low for any shoes here in my size (sizes run small in Japan), my kick-ass wife found just the pair I wanted online. To think, while I was going to shoe store after shoe store finding nothing in my size, and trying on shoes I didn't really want, they were just sitting down there in Tokyo the whole time, waiting for me.

I took my first run in them the other night. A little strange and slightly uncomfortable at first in some senses, but that's normal. However, I immediately noticed the spring and response of fresh, new soles, and after last night's run, am pretty much in love with them. The toebox is a lot more spacious than my old pair of NB's, which threw me off at first. Now, however, as I say, I am digging it. A bit of wiggle room is necessary, and the air and space give some good bounce. Plus, my wide feet can now spread to their fullest extent, giving me much more body support. Ran some decent times on the last two runs, and as I say, the kinetic energy transfer of the responsive new kicks certainly helped.

Speaking of training, it's going fucking great. But it's getting cold!

My city got its first snow this morning. I took a run last night and it was already spitting icy cold rain. Woke up this morning to the cold white stuff covering the ground and rooftops. Now, the question is...do I move inside? I really do not like running on treadmills or in gymnasiums so much, as there is no scenery, and that is such a huge part of the experience and journey for me. Well, a treadmill might be okay with a podcast or two loaded up and some headphones. But going in circles in a gymnasium? Nah. I'm gonna stick this out as long as I can, and run outside every chance I get. I've got a long run coming up this month (another self-planned route) that I am pretty excited about, too. As the marathon is in February anyway, winter running is just part of the deal! At least the marathon is down in Shizuoka, where snow is less likely, and the weather not as cold as it is in Niigata. My average mile times are consistently improving.

Trippy times - a bit of a runner's high revelation.

Last night, as I ran through the icy cold rain, looping around the various neighborhood streets, something happened. I felt a deep kind of longing and an almost inarticulable urge to go deep inside of myself, and dive directly into this almost salacious-feeling kind of murky blackness, fear, pure terror, shame, and sadness.I felt it was an unaddressed pain inside. My psyche scarred and wounded. The reflex is to avoid it. Distract oneself. But last night I wanted to got to the bottom of that murky blackness, and see what was there. Was there a sunken ship? Bodies? Some other dark secret?

What I found was maybe not the very bottom of anything, but something like:

You are the universal child, suckling at the mother's titty. Strength is impossible without nurture. You've been scarred. Without the divine feminine, there is no masculine strength. Only brittle and brutal toxicity posing as strength. In dependence you are free, in gentleness, you are strong.

I was reminded of John Lennon's lyrics in the Beatles' song "Yer Blues":

My mother was of the sky

My father was of the earth

But I am of the universe

And you know what it's worth