Can a professional athlete fall into a depressive vortex that leads him to wish death, even in the midst of professional success? This is the story of Robert Enke, one of the best German goalkeepers of the 21st century and who had a short life with an abrupt end. A goalkeeper who not only developed fear of playing, but also fear of living.

Enke's professional history begins in Germany, but his emotional calvary began with his time at FC Barcelona. Enke arrived at the "Blaugrana" club in the summer of 2002, at General Manager express request. Barcelona was going through a dark moment in its modern history and sought to overcome once and for all the blip of the post-Cruyff era.

In Barcelona, Enke should fight for the title with the former goalkeeper Bonano and the young Víctor Valdés. Enke expected to be the owner of the goal and the truth had the sign to be, however an impressive Valdés added to the little confidence that had in him his coach Louis Van Gaal, buried their chanches to take over the "culé" goal.

But for Enke, this was more of a personal matter than simply sporting performance and he became obsessed with the young goalkeeper of the quarry. He did not understand why the audience applauded like crazy when Valdés stopped a simple ball, while he was relegated to the bench and receiving reproaches from the coach.

Enke also proved very weak mentally and emotionally. He did not have a single friend in Barcelona, he clung to the idea that everyone was against him. He also had the constant pressure of goalkeeper coach Barcelona, who was determined that the German was equal to Edwin Van der Sar, goalkeeper of the Netherlands national team. "That ball would have taken Van der Sar" or "you have to play the ball with the inside of the foot, like Edwin does", were some of the things that Enke was forced to listen to in training day after day.

But the straw that broke the glass and marked the total break of Enke in Barcelona came in a match of the Copa del Rey against the Novelda of the Second B category. That day Enke was a starter and conceded three goals that meant the defeat and elimination of his team. This episode was fundamental in the sinking of the German, since he self-inflicted an exaggerated form for the defeat. And it did not help that his colleague Frank de Boer held him responsible for the defeat at a press conference. His failure in Barcelona led him to the pit of depression. He did not even finish that season in the "blaugrana" club, since in January he was loaned to Fenerbahce in Turkey, where he suffered clinical depression. The failure of that stage of his life made him a vulnerable person, anguished, he lived in fear, he was afraid of games.

In the following summer Robert Enke returned to Spain from the hand of Tenerife, where he regained his level and confidence before returning to Germany with Hannover in 2004. That same year his daughter Lara was born. Regrettably, the child was born with a heart defect and died two years later, in 2006. Despite her depressive history, Enke assumed her loss with great fortitude. He continued playing well, was named captain of his team and did not seem worse than before.

But the reality is that this was a facade. Enke was taking anti-depressants, the parties caused him terror and he only shared his thoughts with his personal diary. It is ironic that from the sport, this was the sweetest stage of his career. He became one of the best goalkeepers in the Bundesliga, to the point of achieving his call for the National Team. He was sub-champion with Germany at EURO 2008 and after the retirement of Oliver Kahn and the low performance of Jens Lehmann, Robert Enke became the main goalkeeper of Germany and had all the roles to be also in the upcoming 2010 World Cup. In 2009, he and his wife adopted a girl named Leila and it seemed that she had overcome her bad past experiences.

But nobody imagined what really went through the mind of the German goalkeeper. No one would have thought that this happy man, with an immense smile and who participated in many charitable causes had planned the most tragic end to his life.

On November 10, 2009; Robert Enke, of 32 yers old, told his wife that he would be home late because he had training, but the reality is that he never came back. He went to some train tracks outside of Hannover, he knew the schedule in detail and had a plan in his mind that would lead him to his final destination. The German threw himself into the train tracks and when it passed at full speed at 6:15 p.m., he ended his life and his nightmare. His death shocked all of Germany and the whole world. The reality is that his professional failure in Barcelona coupled with the untimely death of his daughter led him to end his career and his life, both too short.

Soccer / reflexion

The suicide of Robert Enke

The suicide of Robert Enke

The suicide of Robert Enke