All eyes in the golf world will turn this Friday to "The Match", the epic pay-per-view (PPV) showdown with a $9 million prize between Tiger Woods and Phil Mickleson.
As someone who's not a big boxing or MMA fan, I'm not typically a proponent of PPV events. I have to admit, though, that this out-of-the-box idea to win back cord cutters for a live TV event is brilliant. It's not perfect; it does have one flaw, and I'll get to that later. But I have to give credit to whomever convinced Phil and Tiger to actually compete in "The Match".
I can understand why longtime golf fans will fork over the $20 fee to watch Phil and Tiger take each other on without even thinking about it. For the last 20 years, people have been forming arguments over a hypothetical one-on-one contest between the two golf titans. It was the "Michael vs. Lebron" hypothetical debate before King James was "taking his talents" to teams around the U.S., sparking hopes for national titles each time he signed with a new team.
Phil and Tiger have been rivals so long, the fact that they're squaring off one-on-one seems like golf lore come to life. It's sort of like "Batman v. Superman", except Batman is a bi-racial golf ninja, and Superman is a lovable lefty whose superpowers include starring in arthritis medication commercials. (Watch "Superman" Phil Mickleson's X-ray vision in action here, at 0:53. You can see yet another one of his super powers, dancing, here.)
I hear English pubs can get loud and rowdy airing soccer matches, but believe me, there's going to be some clubhouses getting pretty raucous as the old rascals gather to watch this match, that I can guarantee you. I imagine there will be a lot of sweater vests and Polo shirts sent to the dry cleaners the next day to remove stains from spilled Bloody Marys, to say the least.
The timing is also perfect: 3 p.m. on Black Friday afternoon. All the little old ladies will be elbowing each other's dentures and tripping over each other's oxygen tank hoses at department stores to buy their snot-nosed grandkids the perfect gift, meaning their husbands will be home alone, not having to share the remote or the TV. (Or getting wild and crazy with Gerald and Walter at the clubhouse.) It's genius, pure genius.
As if $9 million weren't enough, there will be side challenges too, like longest drive, closest to the pin, etc. (To their credit, both Phil and Tiger have said they'll donate some of their winnings to charity).
The side challenges will keep things interesting if one player pulls ahead early and the match isn't even close. Once again, a good plan for a pay-per-view event.
There's only one problem with "The Match", and it's not even really an issue with the event itself, but on the concept: How do you follow up "The Match"?
There are several options. The first would be to try and recreate it with another pair of golfers. But unless you're a die-hard golf fan, most sport fans won't pony up $20 to watch two golfers compete in a PPV event. No two golfers have the same chemistry that Phil and Tiger share, no matter how good they are. Rory McIlory vs. Jordan Spieth would be good golf, but it just doesn't have the same pull.
There's also the option for "The Re-Match", in which Phil and Tiger play each other again. This might work, but for how long? Until "Batman" Tiger Woods finally asks to use the senior tees, and "Superman" Phil switches from arthritis medication ads to Depends commercials?
To me, the solution is obvious: Starting next year, "The Match" should feature regular golfers who the every man golf fans watching can actually relate to. The pair should be golfers who enjoy the game, but are still working out a few wrinkles.
Specifically, I'm thinking of me and my buddy Brandon. Sure, instead of "Batman vs. Superman", it may be more like "The Three Stooges Minus the One Stooge Who Was Decent at Golf", but I'm sticking by it. To make things a little easier on the sponsors, we'd only compete for $8 million.
We could have our own side challenges too, like: The player to lose the fewest golf balls; The player that can break par (on a single hole); Least amount of time spent searching for bad tee shots; The player to hit the most fairways that correspond with the hole they teed off from, etc.
"Tom (me) vs. Brandon" could be the next big thing in golf entertainment. Jim Nantz could narrate, and grumpy ol' Johnny Miller could play our swings in super slow-motion and, when asked to analyze what went wrong and caused a shanked shot, just laugh, and say, "He picked up a golf club! That's what went wrong!"
I hope WarnerMedia, the company broadcasting "The Match", will consider my proposal for a follow-up PPV golf event. You might think it's a long shot, but I'm going to keep my schedule open for Black Friday 2019 just in case.
Happy Thanksgiving, and if you do go shopping this Black Friday, be careful and keep an eye out for aggressive grandmas.
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