It seems fall is on the cusp of arriving once again, folks. That means that soon we'll be going from barbecues, iced coffees and bikinis to sweaters, bonfires, and pumpkin spiced lattes. It means the changing of leaves into sunbursts of red, orange, and yellow, hot apple cider with delicious notes of cinnamon, hay bales, Thanksgiving, and, if you're under 18, it means that the days of freedom and frolicking outdoors are over and that it's time to go back to school (anyone over 18 and in college, like myself, knows that such reprieves become increasingly brief as you get older).

It also means, as it does every year, the beginning of football season. By which I mean American football.

Usually around this time (and the time of the Super Bowl, because of course), I'll go onto Pinterest and see numerous pins about football-themed recipes and ideas for football themed parties - naturally, tucked in amongst the Halloween and Thanksgiving pins. Of course, they get the same reaction from me each and every time: an eye roll and an exasperated sigh, followed by me furiously scrolling past them until I find what I'm looking for. Maybe it's because I'm Canadian and grew up more with hockey than I did with football, or maybe I'm simply ignorant and - as I'm undoubtedly going to hear in the comments - have no business writing about the subject whatsoever. But because this is the internet and anyone can express their opinions on this platform (whether or not they should is a conversation for an entirely different forum), I'm going to exercise my right to free speech and express mine: I do not consider American football interesting or exciting in the slightest.

Now, of course, that's not to say anyone who enjoys watching football is stupid or moronic; this is in no way an attack on you, the reader. If this article is going to be an attack on anything, it's the concept of American football as a whole. The basic idea of the sport seems to be a combination of soccer (or European football) and rugby, which means it's origins aren't entirely American. There's also the matter of the uniforms, which don't look particularly comfortable and don't seem to allow a lot of room for movement - the bottom parts, especially. Compare this to the uniforms worn in tennis, basketball, and soccer; the shorts worn in these sports seem more loose-fitting, and allow for greater freedom of movement. Even hockey players, who have to wear more layers than most athletes (for obvious reasons), are still better able to move in their uniforms, giving them an air of grace on the ice. Compare these to the heavier and tighter uniforms worn by American football players, and it's easy to see why there are so many big, burly men in football: you would have to be someone of incredible strength and endurance just to survive those.

There's also the matter of the role of physical contact in most football games - by which I mean it's more than a little much. A study conducted by the NCAA found that the most common area of injury during practice or a game is in the lower and upper limbs, and that concussions make up a startling 7.4% of football related injuries. Which lower and upper limb injuries can usually be resolved with rest and avoiding overexertion, concussions can have far more lasting effects, with repeated blows to the head being a leading cause of CTE, or chronic traumatic encephalopathy. The fact that the NFL attempted to suppress scientific research on this and kept their players in the dark about such a dark shadow should be enough to make anyone dreaming of a career in football more than a little wary.

Which leads to my greatest grievance about the sport, and one that I can neither ignore nor forgive: their culture. This, of course, isn't to say that football fans are the worst or that other sports are better - as a hockey fan who lived in Vancouver during the 2011 Stanley Cup riots, I can safely say that sports can bring the worst out along with the best. Having said that, I can't help but notice that the culture surrounding football seems to be one of excessive machismo, with very little tolerance for divergence from this norm. The NFL seems to be the worst culprit in this regard, with controversies surrounding the suppression of research on CTE (as mentioned in the last paragraph), poor handling of incidences of domestic violence from their players, and players being asked homophobic questions (among others) sullying the reputation of the sport as a whole. Additionally, the debacle surrounding protests of police brutality during the national anthem - and the NFL's subsequent kowtowing to (I can't believe I'm typing this) President Trump (ugh) throughout - has subsequently caused many to turn away from football as a whole. Even the CFL - which, as of this post's publication, has a far cleaner image - does very little to address elephants in the room, and has done even less to try to drum up interest in their teams. Suffice to say, the actions and attitudes of the football powers that be - and of those that bow to them - have ruined the game for me as a whole.

So by all means, go ahead; have your little football-themed parties. Bake football cupcakes and make sliders and nachos and dips and wings. Maybe save me some of that food, if, through some twist of fate, I end up at such a gathering. Just don't try to talk to me about the sport itself - I have no interest in that subject matter.

And if you can politely understand and accept that, you may find an invitation to a hockey-themed party in your inbox.