Sports Influenced Styles Gone Wrong

What is it about a baseball cap that makes people want to put in on backwards? Is it the shape of the bill on the cap? Does it not look good going forward, but looks great on backwards? Do they anticipate the wind is going to blow it off? While inside? I thought the point of a bill of a cap was to keep the sun out of your eyes.

It just annoys the hell out of me. Maybe I'm just becoming one of the old men who yell at the neighbor kids to "get off my lawn!". I can't help it though. It pisses me off. I don't like things that don't make sense. With the world the way it is today, you can imagine how irritated I get.

Ok, back to the wearing of the ballcap.

First of all, I like the way a ballcap looks with the bill in front (like it is made to be worn). The bill has the logo of the team and it has great art work. Most guys and girls look good with a well-made ballcap on their head. It also covers up those misshapen heads (you know who you are) that need to be concealed. I have seen some heads out there that are begging for a ballcap.

On the other hand, a ballcap worn backwards does not work for most people. The following list contains appropriate times and types of people that can pull off a backwards ballcap, followed by those that can't and shouldn't:

1. Babies - everything looks cute on a baby  (YES)
2. KittyCats - KittyCats are cute no matter what. (YES)
   
3. Anyone riding on a bicycle or motorcyle  (YES)
4. Anyone fit, trim and hot - when you are hot, you can pull anything off (YES)
   
5. Anyone under the age of 21 doing anything - I mean, we don't expect them to think for themselves at this point, now do we?  They are crowd followers and copycats, trying to make their way in the world.  (OK, I guess)
   

6. Fat people. I know I gave exclusions above. But not for fat people. (NO)
   

7. Old people - You should know when you are too old to wear a backwards ballcap. But you won't. So I will tell you. (a) If your ears look like they belong to a large gray animal, you are too old. (b) If you walk and all you see is the ground, you are too old. (c) everyone above the age of 50. (NO)
   

8. Fat, old people - maybe I am being redundant.  But this point needs to be emphasized.  DON'T EMBARRASS YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY.  Almost nothing looks worse than a fat, old person with a backwards ballcap, the crack of their ass showing, trying to recapture their youth.  With the amount of obese people in this country, number 6 here should be read by about 75% of the country.  (BIG, FAT NO)

I know that should cover it, but I feel like I am leaving special categories out. If you think of anyone else that needs to be called out, let me know.