Italy is a strange place to live in, often you have to get a compromise, is difficult to find work, recruitment contracts are similar to slavery, and when you vote you always do it for the "less bad".
worse about all of that, it's that whatever happens, it will never be as important as soccer.
"Italians lose wars as if they were football matches, and football matches as if they were wars" - W. Churchill
I hate soccer, not the sport in itself, but how my countrymen love it as a deity. One of the problem for me is that in my country football is the national sport, and few are those who don't like it and don't follow it. That makes me a kind of excluded leper, but let's start from the beginning.
The beginning
In Italy, children start to hear about soccer from doctors when they start cutting the umbilical cord. They start to talk about soccer players at the age of five, they don’t even know how 2+2 does, but they perfectly know who the fuck is Cristiano Ronaldo, how old is he, from where he came, the names of his dogs, even how many waxing strips he needs to depilate one leg.
At the age of six or seven, children start to take soccers lesson in little local teams, they where named “Chicks”, at the elementary school the most of those little monsters already play soccer, and if you are not a part of that lovable kind of yellow bird, you are an asshole, and nobody will ever talk to you again. Nobody.
At that age, I lived my entire days playing with the HE-MANs puppets, building some "Star Wars" battleship with legos, and sometimes, maybe two days in a week, I went to a terrible and decadent gym, that probably turned into a social canteen for homeless in the evening, to take some Balls right in my face, playing basketball.
Wasn’t the same for the chicks. Obviously not. They had a wonderful green garden, cut, cured and irrigated 6 times a week by a team of gardeners with 3 degrees, where they could play showing their big calves like a dwarf bodybuilder, kicking with extreme violence some balls. Maybe the coach was teaching them "how to kill some innocents guy walking near the field with his dog just using a ball". I don't know.
my beloved parents left me at basketball in the same way you throw a garbage bag.
The parents of footballers children instead, stay to see the workouts, constantly glued to the chairs, looking at their children with those large red and blue t-shirts, while playing the training match, and they are able to chorus and stadium brawls if Mario, the striking 7-year-old prodigy, is marked too tight by Paolo, the chubby defender of 6
When the little chicks grow up, like ... eighteen, they are so full of a mad pride that it's like seeing an adorable puppy, turning into a fucking Beast of Satan who wanders around nightclubs drooling like a pitbull and looking for some moment of glory
I remember one of those, I met him in a Club, a certain Fabio, that was in the middle school with me, he blocked me in the middle of the club and started talking about a wonderful soccer match that he (not the team) wins.
I can’t remember what he was saying about that match cause I was drunk and cause I wasn’t listening to a single word, but I can reinterpret that story for you:
His team was playing an unknown match in a blabla league, against some Japanese tourists of 70 years old, that was holding their camera for the entire match, they just wanted to take some pictures of the Colosseum but were kidnapped for a football match, and Fabio scores a point by doing blablasomethingamazing!
I was in a disco, drinking my beer, talking to my friends and trying desperately to find a girl without any kind of self-esteem ... Why the hell are you talking about a football match? I don't care at all!
I really hate Fabio too.
in any case, the years continue and the players are almost forty years old now, and their biggest gain in sport is as reserves in a small team, it's time to retire from professional soccer... This is the worst period of their lives (mine too).
now they can only watch the games, waiting impatiently for five days, every week, like a dog waiting for the master.
And when the games finally arrive, they are nailed in front of the television for ninety interminable minutes, forcing the whole family to watch matches on matches.
For the rest of their lives, they will talk about football every minute at their disposal, they will discuss among themselves, and above all, they will try to include ME in their boring discussions.
I really hate them all
Seriously now
I hate football because it has become the drug of the Italian masses, "opium for poor". The Italian government does what it likes, issues laws and new taxes without even letting us know in a magazine.
Bridges fall, thousands of people die every year at work, corruption spreads everywhere, organized crime has never been so powerful, the displaced from the earthquake in L'Aquila have been homeless for the past ten years, poverty has increased in recent years, and all of us Italians are losing all rights that our grandparents had obtained with hard battles from the fifties to today.
but, it seems that people don't care about.
I remember a political demonstration against the "law on internet censorship" in which I participated less than a couple of years ago, we were fifty in the square... The organizer of the event told us "Bad day today .. they are playing Juventus-Milan"
Juventus won 2-1, and nobody knows anything about the "gag law", which soon, will be another Italian reality.
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